(Photo courtesy of kadajawi)
"The harder I practice, the luckier I get."
Steve Davis, Snooker Champion
Until 19 January I'll be focusing on writing my new book, so until then we're going to re-run some of my most popular articles. What occurs to you after reading this article again? Please let me know in the comment section below or on my Facebook page. I'm looking forward to re-connecting with you at the end of January!
I was talking to someone recently who said "I'd like to have some coaching clients. I don't have any yet, but I'm sure it'll happen". I've heard this form of language over and over again over the years. My experience is that there are certain things that "happen" (Eg. Rust, the changing seasons, rainfall in the UK), and there are other things that get created (Eg. Cathedrals, six-packs, successful coaching practices). It seems to me that a lot of people have the magical misunderstanding that things in the "create" box (Eg. growing your client base) will be found in the "happen" box (Eg. it's raining this afternoon). This is the essence of passivity.
All the people I know who have successful coaching practices have taken action to grow their client-base. It didn’t just happen. They took action to create it. While there’s certainly a place for allowing things to “just happen”, I often see people using that “approach” as an alternative to doing the thing they know is right for them, but that they feel afraid to do. The phrase "It'll happen if it's meant to happen" is effectively meaningless; an affirmation of the kind of happy-horseshit that has people be a spectator in their own lives.
Why is this? It’s a grounding issue. The person mistakenly believes that their feelings of fear / anxiety / self-doubt are telling them about themselves and the thing they’re afraid to do. But it doesn’t work that way. We’re always living in the feeling of the principle of Thought taking form in the moment. The mistaken belief that we’re feeling something other than our thinking is the biggest cause of the problems we face as individuals, organisations and as a species.
People sometimes struggle to find the balance between "making things happen" and "letting things happen", but here's how I see it: To me there's a big difference between action, and the feeling BEHIND the action. For instance, I can be in the flow of life / guided by wisdom and taking massive action. Alternatively, I can be passive / inactive but completely caught up in insecure thinking. There's no causal connection between action and how in/out of flow a person is. It's all about "where you're coming from".
As my grounding continues to increase, there are all kinds of wonderful things that fall into place. Some of them look a lot like luck, serendipity & coincidence, & I love it. However, I'm reminded of Steve Davis' response when one of his stunning 147 breaks appeared to include moments of luck and good fortune. "The harder I practice, the luckier I get."
I look forward to connecting with you soon!
To your increasing clarity,
Best,
Jamie