Image courtesy of Senia L and Flickr
“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou, Author
For the past umpteen weeks, I’ve been working on my forthcoming book, and I’ve finally finished the first draft. I’d like to reward your patience while I’ve been away by sharing an excerpt from the book. The title is a closely guarded secret for the time being (I’m going to be unveiling it in a few months), but I hope you enjoy this piece about the art and science of persuasion, influence and selling… Please let me know what you think in the comment section below or on my Facebook page.
Here’s the excerpt from my forthcoming book, to be published by Wiley-Capstone, 2016.
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“Put up your hand if you don’t like selling…”
Whenever I ask this question, the majority of the audience raise their hands. Even when I’m working with the members of a sales team, it’s surprising how many of them have an aversion to this crucial element of professional life. When I investigate, I inevitably discover that their experience of selling (or being sold to) involves some form of creepiness, manipulation or pressure. In a nutshell, they feel bad about it. So bad, in fact, that it gets obscured with euphemisms for selling and for the people who do it (E.g. client engagement specialist, business development manager, account growth executive etc). And yet, whatever you call it, the process of selling is not only essential to enlisting other people in your initiatives; done effectively, it’s also one of the most powerful ways there is for you to serve others. Whether you’re selling your services to your clients, or your ideas to your colleagues… Whether you want to persuade an entire market to buy your product, or your teenager to make a wise choice about their education… the ability to influence others is an essential skill for results-creators.
It’s not about you
So why do people so often feel uncomfortable with the idea of sales, persuasion and influence? Because most of our models of persuasion and influence are of it being done badly. The word “selling” conjures up images of cheap-suited double-glazing salesmen using high-pressure manipulation tactics. We recoil at the thought of having to trick, bully or cajole people into doing what we want them to do. But that’s not what effective influence even looks like. Our societal image of what it means to be influential is based on faulty, out of date models.
Influence isn’t about getting what you want
by pressuring, cajoling or bullying…
It’s about helping people get what they want
through connection, education and collaboration…
You see, people don’t want what matters to you; they want what matters to them.
People don’t pay for what you offer…
They pay for the transformations they desire…
The stories that reflect their values…
The results they want to create…
And the way they want to feel…
The payment can take many forms, including (but not limited to): money, attention, time, labour, expertise, barter, connections, endorsements, introductions, referrals and prestige. What people pay for can also take a variety of forms…
– While a dealer may be selling a car, the purchaser may be paying for safety (Volvo), speed (Bugatti), school-run status (Range Rover), or prestige (Lamborghini), as well as the feelings and narratives that accompany those experiences.
– While a supermarket may be sourcing organic vegetables, the shopper may be paying for their future health, a delicious meal, a feeling of vibrancy or the opportunity to tell themselves an authentic story (E.g. about caring for their own health, the health of their children, the ethical treatment of animals or how they deserve something a little bit special.)
– While a software vendor may be selling a new package, the CTO he’s selling to may be buying a feeling of security, the sense that they’ve made a good decision, or that they haven’t made a bad decision (when I worked in the IT industry, people used to half-joke that “nobody ever got fired for buying IBM”.)
– While a shoe manufacturer may be producing luxury footwear, their customers may be investing in their self-image; a story they’re telling themselves about confidence or coquettishness, about seduction or style. They pay for the results they want to experience through buying the shoes, as well as the opportunity to tell themselves that story and experience the feelings that come with that.
And this is the key: The only things anyone ever pays for are the transformations they desire, the results they want to create, the stories they want to tell themselves and the way they want to feel.
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Wishing you increasing clarity in all things!
Big love
Jamie
PS. Over the past year, we’ve run four sold-out Coaching Package Power Conferences for professional coaches and 1:1 workers. You won’t have seen any advertising for these conferences – we’ve done it all under the radar on an “invitation only” basis – but at the last one we were joined by 120 people who are passionate about making a difference as Professional Coaches and Changeworkers.
And here’s a cool thing: 60 of the people joined us from 12 countries around the world via our new, leading-edge live-streaming facilities, while the other 60 joined us live in-person in London. The conference is focused on exactly what has to happen for you to migrate to a “coaching package” model so you can increase your income and make it more stable. The results our clients are getting are far beyond our expectations, so…
We’re running the next Coaching Package Power Conference on 28-29 May. Once again, we’ll have people joining us live in London, and via our live-streaming facilities. We’ll be sending out a call for applications in the next few weeks, but for now, we just want you to save the date and indicate your interest, so email us at info@jamiesmart.com if you want the chance to apply for a place when we open the doors in the next week or so.