“You don’t need to put the yolk in the egg. The yolk is already in the egg.”
Valda Monroe
Educator, single-paradigm pioneer
A question was posted recently on a Facebook group for coaches that I’m a member of:
“Do you put pressure on yourself for your client to have an insight?”
I read some of the responses from other coaches, and realised that my “angle” on this was quite different: I’m not focused on my client having insights. I’m focused on something else entirely…
I'm not navigating by/ calibrating to the client's insights and realisations when I'm coaching them; I'm navigating by/ calibrating to a) less or more feeling of connection, b) less or more mental clarity, c) less or more confusion about where their feelings are coming from and who they are. d) whatever I'm curious about in the moment, e) whatever problems / goals / changes / desires have brought them to me in the first place. To be clear: I don't have these things "on my mind", but they are informing my awareness.
It seems to me that for practical purposes, if I put my attention on those things, the client's insights and realisations are a side-effect. But here's the thing: if someone joins me in a deep feeling, that means they're being impacted. I have no requirement for them to go "oh! I've had an insight" or in fact to have any conscious coding of what's going on. I trust that if they touch that deeper space, it HAS to show up in their lives.
You may have heard me say in the past (in relation to signing up coaching clients), “When you know you can deliver the goods, your client will know you can deliver the goods" comment. This metaphorical statement helps me communicate to coaches who are very "outside-in" when it comes to selling and coaching. The reality is this: When I coach someone, I am not trying to deliver *anything* (that would imply that I have something and I need to deliver it to the client at which point they'll be better – what could be more "outside in" than that?)
The things I *know* are this: My client already has the goods, they just don't realise it yet. They're connected to the same source of wisdom and intelligence that you and I are. They're connected to the same source of peace, clarity and wellbeing as you and I are. They get caught up in the same innocent outside-in misunderstanding that the rest of us do. They have an innate capacity for realisation that will wake them up from their contaminated thinking and bring them back to reality. I know this like I know my own name. My job when I'm working with a client is to help create the conditions where they can realize that for themselves. And here's the thing, coaches: just like my clients already have the goods, YOU already have the goods. Act accordingly.
To your increasing clarity
Big love
Jamie
PS. Over the past year, we’ve run four sold-out Coaching Package Power Conferences for professional coaches and 1:1 workers. You won’t have seen any advertising for these conferences – we’ve done it all under the radar on an “invitation only” basis – but at the last one we were joined by 120 people who are passionate about making a difference as Professional Coaches and Changeworkers.
And here’s a cool thing: 60 of the people joined us from 12 countries around the world via our new, leading-edge live-streaming facilities, while the other 60 joined us live in-person in London. The conference is focused on exactly what has to happen for you to migrate to a “coaching package” model so you can increase your income and make it more stable. The results our clients are getting are far beyond our expectations, so…
We’re running the next Coaching Package Power Conference on 28-29 May. Once again, we’ll have people joining us live in London, and via our live-streaming facilities. We’ll be sending out a call for applications in the next few weeks, but for now, we just want you to save the date and indicate your interest, so email us at info@jamiesmart.com if you want the chance to apply for a place when we open the doors in the next week or so.
