“Everything about us – our brains, our minds and our bodies – is geared towards collaboration in social systems. This is our most powerful survival strategy, the key to our success as a species, and it is precisely this that breaks down in most forms of mental suffering.” Bessel van der Kolk
I’m doing something special this week (I’ll tell you about it before I sign off) so I’m re-running JST 122, one that I originally wrote during the 2016 Life Transformation Retreat in Lanzarote with Jan and Chip Chipman, where we enjoyed a space for genuine transformation.
So what creates the space for transformation? In this article, you’re going to discover the “WD40” of transformational influence and impact: clarity of connection.
Many years ago, a famous NLP trainer told me about their experiences of the legendary transformation professional, Milton Erickson (nicknamed “the miracle worker”).
They said that, while he was good with language, and had amazing sensory acuity, the thing that was most extraordinary about Erickson was the depth of rapport and connection he entered into with his clients. He would get into extremely deep rapport with people, connecting with them at the level of their true identity.
It was as if he was sending the message on all channels, “I see who you are… and I know who you are… I like who you are… and I don’t need you to change a single thing…”
The trainer said that in the face of this onslaught of love, acceptance and connection, people experienced a great freedom and ability to transform.
When I heard this story, I immediately knew, “I want to be able to do that.” It inspired me to spend years developing the kind of deep, “soul-to-soul” connection that forms the basis for powerful relationships, effortless influence and transformational impact.
So what is clarity of connection?
Here’s a brief excerpt from my Sunday Times Bestseller, RESULTS: Think Less, Achieve More:
Human beings have a more highly evolved capacity for connection and relationship than any other species. Social groups are a big part of the reality we’re built for. The feeling of connection can be a powerful communicator of trust and credibility when it comes to persuasion, influence and leadership. In more intimate relationships, the feeling of love and connection is the rich soil that feeds the roots of the relationship and allows it to grow and evolve. We all have times when we’re feeling connected; connected to another person… connected to our true selves… connected to life as a whole. We also have times when we feel less connected, or even isolated. When you’re feeling connected, there’s a sense of closeness and intimacy that carries its own credibility. When we’re hanging out in La-la land, caught up in contaminated thinking, we lose that sense of connection. The moment you fall out of contaminated thinking and into the reality of the moment, your sense of connection re-emerges.
Think about it. One of the keys for transformational impact is a sense of safety and security. When people feel disconnected, they tend to feel unsafe, insecure and isolated. Their orientations is typically familiarity-focused, risk-averse and anti-change. When a person is feeling safe, secure and connected, they tend to be possibility-focused, risk-positive and open-minded.
This is why Clarity of Connection is one of the 3 elements of the Clarity Impact Model. Of course, Clarity of Connection is just a metaphor that points to the principle of Mind, the intelligent energy behind life. While we have the capacity to experience the feeling of being separate from life, you are never really separate. You’re always connected: connected to your true identity, to the rest of humanity, and to the oneness of life.
And think about it: what could require a greater degree of influence than the ability to help someone transform their lives? Influence (E.g. In the form of sales, leadership, education, negotiation, marketing etc) is at its best when your influence objectives are aligned with the other person’s best interests, and in support of your relationship with them.
This is also true of having a transformational impact on another human being. This is why it turns out that the “skill set” that allows a transformational professional to help transform a person’s life forms much of the skill set required to be an influential communicator in the 21st century.
By the way, tomorrow night (Wednesday Dec 6) at 7pm UK time, I’m doing a very special masterclass with Jan and Chip called The Art of the Transformational Retreat. 277 of the 300 places have already gone, but if you’re quick you’ll get one of the remaining 23 if you get over to www.JamieSmart.com/Transform. See you there!
To your increasing clarity!
Big love
Jamie
Jamie Smart
Sunday Times Bestselling Author, Speaker and Executive Coach
PLUS: Whenever you’re ready… here are 4 ways I can help you get the clarity and results that matter to you:
1. Hire me to speak at your event
If you want an entertaining and impactful keynote speech or breakout session for your conference, offsite or town hall meeting, click here https://www.jamiesmart.com/book-jamie-to-speak-about/
2. Join the Profitable Coaches Group
Join the Profitable Coaches Professional Group and connect with the growing community of like-minded transformation professionals who are passionate about exponentially increasing their grounding, impact and their livelihood. You can join for free at https://www.jamiesmart.com/profitable/
3. Join the next intake of Project Jupiter
If you want to transition from full-time employment to something more fulfilling and on-purpose for you, you may be a good fit for the next intake of Project Jupiter (starting January 2018). Here’s how you’ll know if you’re right for Jupiter (and vice-versa):
– You are currently in full-time employment, but…
– You want to transition from your job to something more fulfilling and “on-purpose”
– You sense that it’ll probably take 1-3 years to complete the transition, but…
– Your goal hasn’t been getting much closer; it seems to stay the same distance away
– You want to make progress, but lack clarity about either the ‘what’ or the ‘how’
– You know that if you were clear on those, with a solid plan, you’d do what it takes to make it happen
– You’ve been thinking about it for long enough, and you’re ready to do something about it NOW
If that’s you, email Nikki at info@jamiesmart.com and type “Project Jupiter” in the subject line.
PLUS: check these out :
Get your free Profitable Coaches Scorecard book www.JamieSmart.com/scorecard
Listen to the Results Mindset Podcast www.JamieSmart.com/resultspodcast
Listen to The Profitable Coaches Podcast www.JamieSmart.com/pcp
Read the first 2 chapters of my Sunday Times Bestseller RESULTS: Think Less, Achieve More www.JamieSmart.com/instantresults