Photo courtesy of Mulan and Flickr
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”
― Lao Tzu
Welcome to part 2 in the series of articles on the 10 professional practice multipliers from the Exponential Practice Scorecard https://www.jamiesmart.com/scorecard/. Each week I’ll be explaining them and looking at how you can leverage them to grow your practice, and here’s the thing: Whether you’re a transformation professional or not, you’re going to discover that these 10 multipliers apply to almost everyone (at least, with a little creativity). So let’s continue with Multiplier Number 2 – Compelling Presence.
Multiplier Number Two: Compelling Presence
Professional practice multiplier number two is compelling presence. An easy way to describe this is being present in the moment and comfortable in your own skin. The reason presence is so compelling is it’s a characteristic everyone wants and when you have it, other people can feel it.
In column one, it’s pretty much the opposite of a compelling presence. In column one, you feel worried, stressed or anxious much of the time but believed everything would be okay, if you could just change your circumstances. Now, this is a double bind because it seems as if only things outside would be okay, then you’d feel better inside, but it’s actually the other way around. Just as you would have doubts about a stop smoking treatment being offered by someone who smokes, in column one, a person’s lack of ease with themselves raises a question mark for potential clients. This is why I often call column one the “stuck” column. When people are in column one, they’re stuck, but have reason to be hopeful. Everyone can relate to feeling like “if only things outside would change I would feel different”. It’s part of the journey.
In the second column, the struggle column, your presence is something you’re working at, and that’s the challenge. When you’re working at it, people pick up on that. They sense you’re doing something. You do your best to be positive, but it’s difficult. You wish you felt the way you try to come across, but you’ll often feel like a fraud. If you identify with this one, I have some good news for you: this is a very normal part of your personal transformation. Many times, when people think “Who am I to do this?” It’s often because you’ve had a big insight, spark, passion, or a sense of direction but you lack confidence. We’ve been conditioned for a world of working in a factory or office; we learned in school to not speak up for ourselves and to follow the rules. When you start to follow your own truth and path, it shakes up some of those lessons. That sense of “who am I to be saying this, who am I to be doing this,” is a signal that you’re heading in the right direction (believe it or not). Once again, you have reason to be hopeful.
In column three you focus on maintaining a positive cheerful attitude. You make a point of being in a good state when you’re with your clients. You’re probably an expert at managing your state. Maybe you reframe yourself or just do your best to think happy thoughts. If you’re in column three, the success column, it’s probably working, at least to some degree. It’s giving you some of the results you want to get in quite a positive way. However, what I often find with people in column three is it’s tiring and draining to manage yourself all the time. It takes a lot of energy and you wonder, if it’s possible to enjoy what you have and connecting with clients without it being so exhausting.
That brings us to the fourth column, the exponential column. It’s a different dimension of presence, precisely because you’re not working at it. You walk your talk and you’re a living proof of the impact of your work. You feel comfortable in yourself and people are drawn to your presence. You practice what you preach and it radiates in how you show up. You’re comfortable in your own skin and that’s compelling because on some level, that’s what everyone wants.Another way of thinking about this is “who you are and how you’re showing up” is proof of the impact of what you do. There is a consistency in what you preach and you hold yourself to the same standard. That’s the exponential column.
Now the way you make progress and improve in this multiplier is interesting; it’s what I would call subtracting. Rather than asking what do I need to do to have more presence, the question is, what’s getting in the way of it? If you look at little babies, they have an incredible presence which is why people are drawn to them. They radiate a comfort in their own skin. That compelling presence is already there inside babies and it’s already there inside you.
The question becomes “What’s been getting in the way?” The answer is what I call “contaminated thinking”. Contaminated thinking arises from the mistaken belief that your feelings are letting you know about something other than Thought in the moment. Your feelings are letting you know about your past or your future, your bank balance, other people or whatever else may be happening at the time. The fact is, you’re always living in the feeling of Thought in the moment and as soon as you see that, it brings you back into the present.
The best way I found to deepen your understanding of this and start to improve your compelling presence is by exploring the principles behind Clarity. Let me share a great example: Mahima Shrestha is a crisis management consultant and was a scholarship student on our Clarity coach training program. Her story is fascinating. She’s one of the people who was caught in the devastating Nepal earthquake in April 2015. In the midst of the earthquake, she told me she suddenly remembered reading something in my book Clarity: 100% of your feeling is coming from Thought in the moment. She described going from feeling terrified (which is totally understandable in that situation), to being peaceful and present and realizing that her wellbeing comes from within her. When I interviewed her someone asked, “so how did you know you were safe?” She said she wasn’t physically safe (a roof could have fallen in on her at any moment), but she knew she was psychologically safe. There was nothing that could hurt who she really was. There were things that could hurt her body but nothing that could hurt the essence of who she is.
She realized that even though you can be in great physical danger, you’re psychologically safe. This realization gave her a deep sense of peace and clarity that was so profound that other people she was talking to picked up on it. Other people who were devastated by the earthquake picked up on it and the presence of sane, certain human being did something for those people.
That’s the essence of compelling presence. Other people pick up on your clarity, on your comfort in your own skin, on your peace of mind, on your sanity, on your good mental health.
A second example is Deborah Banner. Debs is trained as an accountant but she became really impacted by the principles behind Clarity and joined our program.
One day, part way through the program, she was at a large public gathering. A partner from a larger London law firm came straight over to her, someone she never met before, and said, “There is something about you. You have a clarity and presence and I need that in my company. Here is my card, call me.” The person picked up on the clarity and presence that Debs has and it naturally attracted her.
To your increasing clarity
Big love
Jamie
P.S. Compelling presence is one of the things we dive deep into in Project Glasswing (aka Coaching Package Power). The next instalment of Project Glasswing is due to kick off in a few weeks. If you’d like to be considered for the latest intake of the pilot programme, I’m looking for 36 very specific people:
– You are a coach, therapist or change-worker (Eg. Sports coach, psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, business coach, bodyworker etc)
– You have at least one year’s experience of working with clients (either paid, pro-bono or both)
– You probably charge by the hour, but want to use a “coaching package” model and increase your income
– You have room to work with at least one longer term contract client, starting in November
– You’re an enthusiastic, friendly people-person
– You have a coachable spirit, and are willing to step out of your comfort zone if necessary, and
– You can keep a secret
If that’s you, then email me at info@jamiesmart.com, and let me know where you’re located and a little about yourself (if you don’t know what to tell me about, look at the list above for inspiration). Change the subject line to “Project Glasswing JST”. I’ll be choosing people in the next couple of weeks. Talk to you soon! J