“Insecurity makes you prove yourself… and the second you go out into the world to prove… you’re tackling the entire world… and you’ll never make it… you’ll never succeed because there’s no end to proving… you’ve got to give up proving… and just be you… doesn’t matter what anybody else says… just be you… and if you are you… in a positive life… then you’ll be happy…”
– Sydney Banks
Photo courtesy of The US National Archives
Is it possible for you to be happy, no matter what? In this article you’re going to get the answer to that question as we explore the incredible power of unconditional happiness.
I was having a conversation the other day with one of my mentors, and the question popped into my head. "Are you willing to be happy no matter what?" I suddenly realised that in some areas of life, I wasn't. I had innocently made my happiness conditional upon other factors (Eg "I'll be happy once I achieve x, y and z, but I can't be happy if a, b or c happens").
I was shocked! I thought I'd left this kind of thinking behind years ago, so I didn't expect to find it still lurking around. But it stood to reason. There are places in life where I get more easily preoccupied or stuck. My guess is that you have these too. And the places where we get preoccupied or stuck, the places where we struggle; these are the places where we've innocently made our happiness and wellbeing conditional on other factors.
These conditions can be distant in space or time, for instance "I'll be happy when I…
– make X amount of money
– meet Mr or Ms right
– quit my job and start my dream business
The conditions may be closer to home, for example "I'll be happy when I…
– lose the weight
– change my limiting beliefs
– start doing mindfulness techniques
The conditions may even be framed as negatives, for instance "I can't be happy because…
– I haven't got a partner
– I'm not as successful as my friends
– my body isn't the right shape
– I had a terrible childhood
– there's something wrong with me
– etc etc etc
Whether near or far, positive or negative, these are all examples of the same fundamental misunderstanding about the nature and source of happiness: Happiness is innate and unconditional. Happiness and wellbeing are so natural for us that we sometimes experience them without even meaning to!
And how do we fool ourselves into believing happiness is conditional? Using the incredible power of Thought. We have the near-Godlike ability to believe something and then experience it as true. I can believe I need a new car in order to be happy (for instance), and then genuinely experience that “car-deficiency" as the source of my unhappiness. But a new car can't actually be the source of happiness or unhappiness, because cars are neutral; they have no happiness-bestowing powers. The same applies to new partners, new jobs and even new hairdos! The only happiness-bestowing powers are the formless principles of thought, mind and consciousness that are creating our experience, moment to moment. Happiness and wellbeing are your birthright; a gift that is given, not earned. Which begs a question: "Are you willing to be happy, no matter what?"
I encourage you to ponder this question. The moment you realise you don’t need anything to be ok, you’re liberated to experience greater joy, inspiration and contentment in life, whatever form it takes. Once you realise you can be happy for no good reason, you’re free to start living a life you love, more and more each day.
Big love
Jamie
P.S. We’re down to the last 2 places left for my final 'Project Glasswing' programme of 2015, about to launch. Here’s what I’m looking for:
– You are a coach, therapist or change-worker (Eg. Sports coach, psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, business coach, bodyworker, homeopath etc)
– You have at least one year’s experience of working with clients (either paid, pro-bono or both)
– You probably charge by the hour, but want to use a “coaching package” model to increase your income and make it more consistent
– You have space in your practice to work with at least one longer term contract client, starting in November
– You’re an enthusiastic, friendly people-person
– You have a coachable spirit, and are willing to step out of your comfort zone if necessary, and
– You can keep a secret
If that’s you, then just email me at info@jamiesmart.com, and let me know where you’re located and a little about yourself (if you don’t know what to tell me about, look at the list above for inspiration). NB: Make the subject line “Project Glasswing JST”. I’ll be choosing people in the next couple of weeks. Talk to you soon! J